Jan 9, 2007

Casa Hermenia

I forgot how it was spelt, but it was pronounced..
CASA ER ME NI YA.

UUUCCCHHHH!

It was a whorehouse in the Dominican Republic!

Ready for this one?

So like I'm 15 years old and still a virgin (an atrocity?), and my dad thinks its a good idea to season me up (get me laid).
WITH THE BLESSING OF MY MOM!
THANKS MOM!!

I really was not flamboyant, but they knew I was gay, I didn't.
Was this a way to convert me?

[BTW Judy WAS NOT allowed to join us in the DR, Gigi was scared that Judy might embarass her. In all the years My (step) brother and I went to the DR, Judy never went!]

so off we go...
Joe Sr. Joe Jr and I.
"where are we going dad"
"it's a suprise"

so we're at this strange location, a big bar with a big outdoor court, with these exposed villa type rooms on the mezz.
These SKANKY woman were all over us, it was like 11 in the morning, and we were the only people in the joint.
"cafe' o chocha" they keep on saying...
I knew what it meant but I was kinda grossed out.
So there we were sitting around this table and this ... thing ... whore ... comes twisting toward our table.
She had a pale pecked eye! (like a good whore should)
She was rubbing my back, until my dad told her to show her "pussy" to me..
She did.
It was HUGE and dark...
Then she quickly grabbed my hand and placed it on her bush...
I'll never forget that sensation...BRILLO-Y
I quickly snatched my had away... QUICKLY!
I smelt my hand and it was Jean Nate'
I knew that smell every woman had Jean Nate' in the bathroom 75-85...

I was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears...
I wasn't ready for this!
My dad was dissapointed..

Joe Jr. took her on..
I swear he came back 5 minutes later all flushed and finished...

Joe Jr. caught gonorrhea from the pecked one.. a bad case of it!
I remember the screams from the bathroom...
FUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

My parents played it off as if was a life lession.
What if it was me?

OH GOD!

VD at 15


The following year were back in the DR to enjoy our brand new house on the mountains (lomas lindas) was the mountain, and name the estate was Jogi (joe/gigi)
This house was THE SHIT!
3 levels 6 bedrooms 4 a/c'd bathrooms, roof deck, pool, tennis court, giant satellite dish, horse stables with 2 GIANT horses (yes Lori), and my favorite thing..that contraption were you can hang upside down, I hung upside down for hours.....
Supposedly it only cost them less than $100,000 USD to build.
We had a staff of like 5, manditory in the DR.
Joe Jr. screwed 3 of the maids..
He caught gonorrhea again, and got another trajabadora (maid) pregnant.
That maid dissapeared, never to be seen again.
There is another Colombo offspring somewhere.. another Italian/Dominican...
Windows 95 did not know this, I don't know if she knows now.

Gigi got the house as part of the divorce settlement, we also had a beach house (small but awesome) and a penthouse in Santo Domingo which she also got. All the property in the DR was left to rot and was sold for pesetas on the peso. I actually think she got $25.000 for all three properties that she sold to a swindeling cousin. I really wanted the Beach house, in which she promised me. No casa en el playa for me!
Gigi has YET to keep one promise to me.

Oh Mom?!

No comments: