Why I'm doing this...

On January 2 2007 I went back to work.

I really do love my job..really!!
But..
I just was not feeling it after all the holiday debauchery.
SO..
I had to pick up some overpriced surface paper around the 23rd & 6th ave area, (still slightly hungover on food booze and love from the previous days) I stopped off at one of my favorite eateries "Maffei's Pizza" 688 6th Ave @ 22nd St. One of the only true pizzeria's / focceria's in manhattan, I had one of my usuals, Shrimp Parmagania hero (I wonder why I'm so fat!) They make it perfect there big shrimps fried in italian breadcrumbs over their perfect marinara topped off with fresh Mozzy.. MMMMMM.
BTW their "Grandma Slice" is pure heaven.
Enough of the food rant!

So I sit at the window that faces 6th Ave... best spot in da house. Shrimp parm hero, bottle of club soda, and the great show thats called manhattan...
I finished one delicious half of the hero / a couple of gulps of soda water... Discreet silent burbs... Cheezee 50 plus fags in tight tween pants... WHY?
So I'm just starting in on my second half...
When I see her!!!
Mel !!
Melanie Colombo
My stepmother
WICKED STEPMOTHER!!
You know.. the one that slowly killed my dad and ran off with his 15 million in Bal Harbour Florida.
The one who dissapeared after his death
The one who refused oxygen therapy on my dad's diabetic foot sores, so they had to amputate!
The one who fed him Brownies and Corona beer on his diabetic death bed coma.
The one who would NOT leave alone in the presence of his family.
THE ONE WHO HAD HIM CREAMATED WITHIN HOURS OF HIS DEATH TO AVOID AUTOPSY. (How she did that is still a mystery among lawyers and doctors, and yet Miami Police refuse to investigate)
This list is infinite...

Back to Maffei's

Nano seconds felt like hours... It was soo surreal, I didn't know what to do.
Yes I did.
I dropped my slice of fried heaven and bolted out after her.
I heard Dominic (owner of Maffei's) in the distance say "hey buddy you alright" as I dashed out without cleaning up after myself (Dominic is sooo nice, and truly appreciates someone complimenting on his cooking, (which I do all the time))
So there I am slowly sprinting behind her, then beside her making sure it was her.
Oh it was!
Mel= Late 60's Great set of hair (the kind of mane that can be bleached white and still retain lustre and shine) About 5'9" trim / athletic (used to be a physical therapy nurse). Face of a simian (large mouth / flat peppery nose / giant blue eyes) Picture Zera (planet of the apes) and Barbara Eden (present) morphed.. Mel has bad taste in clothes, everything she ever wore was fake designer. She LOVES bootleg Chanel... "why should I have to pay $2000.00 for this bag, when its here for $20.00" she says... I should have known she'd be in NYC... CANAL ST must be her heaven..
So there we were.
Side by side..
6th ave and us... Starbucks...New York Burger Co...Chipotle...
CHIPOTLE
"MEL is that you?"
She glanced at me...
and ignored
"Mel! is me Paul.. Did I gain that much weight?"
She Glared at me now in her cheap pilly ill fitting overcoat, velvet emerald track suit, and slip on Merrill's (my pet pieve shoe company) (of course she'd be wearing them)
......... WHAAAAATTT!!!! (shouted like judge judy)
"what?" I said...
"What now Paul" she said

I WAS ENRAGED!
INFURIATED!
I WANTED TO HIT HER
PUSH HER OVER...

But I didn't
Maybe it was the audience I had now glaring at us through the window of Chipotle...

I went into boarding school behavior...
Sweet, respectful, polite, courteous...
WHY?

Back to Chipotle...

"Mel what are you doing here?'
"were are you headed to?"

She stuttered reluctantly seconds later " T J MAXX"
"OH" I said

I asked her "do you live in NY now?"
She answered "I don't have to answer these questions"
"hows your mother?"

"she's good"

"wow Mel What happened" I said
"its what your father wanted" she said

(INSIDE MY HEAD)
...WHAT YOUR FATHER WANTED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
TO BE CREAMATED?
HE HAD A PLOT HERE IN BROOKLYN NEXT TO HIS MOM DAD AND DAUGHTER
WHAT WHAT WHAT
YOU ULGY BITCH
WOW THATS A GREAT SHADE OF BLONDE FOR AN OLD LADY..

(Chipotle)

"but why" I say
she started to walk away
she walked away
she was away
gone...

I was left standing in front of Chipotle
the people were looking at me as if they knew what had just happened.
I felt dumb.
So I flipped them off, and walked away.
Sprinted back to the uptown F to 42nd
Front of the train to the 40th st exit
back to 39th st
back to my desk

A weird tear popped out.. literally popped out.. just one
Richard never knew.

I called Chad to tell him.
He always makes me feel better.

I left at 5 that day...
I had to!